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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22628221">Unhealthy</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/kemiyu'>kemiyu (orphan_account)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Addiction, Anxiety, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Hurt Hinata Shouyou, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Obsession, Panic Attacks, Past Relationship(s), Physical Abuse, Post-Break Up, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Secret Relationship, Stalking, The Author Regrets Everything, The Author Regrets Nothing, Unhealthy Relationships, Unrequited Love, Warnings May Change</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 09:21:39</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,564</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22628221</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/kemiyu</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Oikawa loved his touch, Oikawa loved his scent, Oikawa loved his body. Oikawa yearned for Shoyou, willing to do anything to be close to him. Oikawa only wanted to love Shoyou, they were boyfriends after all, weren’t they?<br/>Oikawa’s refusal to believe the truth and move on from the past has haunted Shoyou ever since their first break up.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hinata Shouyou/Oikawa Tooru</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>113</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Bitter Tastes In My Mouth</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>. Ȍ̵͙͇̘̭̃̑̈́͑̀͝͝ĩ̴̛̛͔̭̐̀͌k̸͔̜͐a̴̢̬̻͖͖͒̇̌̈̉̚w̵͍͙̼̪͉̟̉̈͂͂́̋͂͛̉̈́ͅa̶̯͈̗̬͐̀̾ ̷͖͍̈́̀͋̍̋̈́͜͝Ş̷͎̦̟̰͎̥̪̞̻̐͛̈́̀̚n̶̢̬̥͎̗̪̲͋̏̓̈͘͜͜ǎ̶̛͚͈̂̈̄͠p̷̞̟̫̱͋͌̀́p̶̠̆̆̐̑͝e̸̺̮͓̿̍̀̑̚͜͠d̵͙̙͕̿.̵̮̦̳̦̬̟͔̠̩̙̒̎̋͗̈͝͠ ̴̧̛̼̯̮̹̗̬̳̞̟̏̇̅͐͆̈̍͛Ơ̶̬͈͖̟͖͕͑̎̒͋͜͠í̶̛̜̫̣̼̫̩́̈́̂́̒ḳ̴̀̈́̄͑͐̍́͘͠ả̴͇͈̬̼̲͝ͅŵ̴̨̱̯͇̲̿̄̿̇̆a̷̛͖͙͕̯̻̭̳͋͛̈́͌͊ ̷̧̬̯͖̱̞̪̺͖̪̈́̿̇̂Ś̴͎̭̘̞̎͂͆͊̇͊͋n̸̗̣̗̰͍̦͔͙̽͒̽̃͂͠a̷̳̹̝̰̮̖̩͆̎̍́̈̈́̈̑̿͠p̸̧̙͚͈̘̖͚̦͓͍̐̓̍̀͝p̶̧̺̯͔̺̩̄e̸̥̱̳̪̞̜̭͑̊̎́̂̿̿̚͜͜ḓ̶̨̛̟̺̝̉͋͌̊̈́́̌͠ͅ Ơ̶̬͈͖̟͖͕͑̎̒͋͜͠í̶̛̜̫̣̼̫̩́̈́̂́̒ḳ̴̀̈́̄͑͐̍́͘͠ả̴͇͈̬̼̲͝ͅŵ̴̨̱̯͇̲̿̄̿̇̆a̷̛͖͙͕̯̻̭̳͋͛̈́͌͊ ̷̧̬̯͖̱̞̪̺͖̪̈́̿̇̂Ś̴͎̭̘̞̎͂͆͊̇͊͋n̸̗̣̗̰͍̦͔͙̽͒̽̃͂͠a̷̳̹̝̰̮̖̩͆̎̍́̈̈́̈̑̿͠p̸̧̙͚͈̘̖͚̦͓͍̐̓̍̀͝p̶̧̺̯͔̺̩̄e̸̥̱̳̪̞̜̭͑̊̎́̂̿̿̚͜͜ḓ̶̨̛̟̺̝̉͋͌̊̈́́̌͠ͅ Ơ̶̬͈͖̟͖͕͑̎̒͋͜͠í̶̛̜̫̣̼̫̩́̈́̂́̒ḳ̴̀̈́̄͑͐̍́͘͠ả̴͇͈̬̼̲͝ͅŵ̴̨̱̯͇̲̿̄̿̇̆a̷̛͖͙͕̯̻̭̳͋͛̈́͌͊ ̷̧̬̯͖̱̞̪̺͖̪̈́̿̇̂Ś̴͎̭̘̞̎͂͆͊̇͊͋n̸̗̣̗̰͍̦͔͙̽͒̽̃͂͠a̷̳̹̝̰̮̖̩͆̎̍́̈̈́̈̑̿͠p̸̧̙͚͈̘̖͚̦͓͍̐̓̍̀͝p̶̧̺̯͔̺̩̄e̸̥̱̳̪̞̜̭͑̊̎́̂̿̿̚͜͜ḓ̶̨̛̟̺̝̉͋͌̊̈́́̌͠ͅ Ơ̶̬͈͖̟͖͕͑̎̒͋͜͠í̶̛̜̫̣̼̫̩́̈́̂́̒ḳ̴̀̈́̄͑͐̍́͘͠ả̴͇͈̬̼̲͝ͅŵ̴̨̱̯͇̲̿̄̿̇̆a̷̛͖͙͕̯̻̭̳͋͛̈́͌͊ ̷̧̬̯͖̱̞̪̺͖̪̈́̿̇̂Ś̴͎̭̘̞̎͂͆͊̇͊͋n̸̗̣̗̰͍̦͔͙̽͒̽̃͂͠a̷̳̹̝̰̮̖̩͆̎̍́̈̈́̈̑̿͠p̸̧̙͚͈̘̖͚̦͓͍̐̓̍̀͝p̶̧̺̯͔̺̩̄e̸̥̱̳̪̞̜̭͑̊̎́̂̿̿̚͜͜ḓ̶̨̛̟̺̝̉͋͌̊̈́́̌͠ͅ Ơ̶̬͈͖̟͖͕͑̎̒͋͜͠í̶̛̜̫̣̼̫̩́̈́̂́̒ḳ̴̀̈́̄͑͐̍́͘͠ả̴͇͈̬̼̲͝ͅŵ̴̨̱̯͇̲̿̄̿̇̆a̷̛͖͙͕̯̻̭̳͋͛̈́͌͊ ̷̧̬̯͖̱̞̪̺͖̪̈́̿̇̂Ś̴͎̭̘̞̎͂͆͊̇͊͋n̸̗̣̗̰͍̦͔͙̽͒̽̃͂͠a̷̳̹̝̰̮̖̩͆̎̍́̈̈́̈̑̿͠p̸̧̙͚͈̘̖͚̦͓͍̐̓̍̀͝p̶̧̺̯͔̺̩̄e̸̥̱̳̪̞̜̭͑̊̎́̂̿̿̚͜͜ḓ̶̨̛̟̺̝̉͋͌̊̈́́̌͠ͅ</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I’ve been having major writers block lately, I’m very sorry! This isn’t my best writing, but I tried.<br/>Thank you for clicking, hope you enjoy the story!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Hinata did not expect his day to start like this.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Hinata did not except his friend to confess to him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Hinata did not except that friend to be Oikawa Tooru.</em>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Hinata’s body froze, every single one of his hairs standing on end. Face beaming a bright red as he stood in front of one of his only friends, who gave him a soft smile. Oikawa extended his hand out, grasping Hinata’s hand, he staggered at the sudden contact; utterly shocked by this situation. “What do you say, Hinata? Will you go out with me?” His voice spoke with such sincerity that it made Hinata’s whole body feel warm.</p><p>”O-Okay, Tooru!” Hinata nodded furiously, making Oikawa giggling. He interlaced their fingers, bringing Hinata’s hand up to his lips, giving it the softest kiss Hinata had every experienced. Hinata smiled brightly, cheeks flushed.</p><p>
  <strong>………<br/></strong>
</p><p><em>The downfall of their relationship started as something small, Oikawa’s paranoia over Hinata. </em>Hinata felt Oikawa glare at him anytime he spoke to another male, especially Kageyama. Kageyama, Iwaizumi and Oikawa were the only friends Hinata has in junior high,  and he could do nothing but watch as Oikawa ruined his friendships; keeping Hinata all to himself.</p><p>Hinata didn’t know why he had an uneasy feeling around Oikawa, it was always the small things that set him apart from others. The way his eyes lingered on his body for longer than they should’ve, how often he made physical contact with him, continuous offerings to eat lunch together. Sure, these were <em>normal </em>things for a couple to do together, but it just didn’t feel right to Hinata. He felt as if Oikawa had some sinister motive hidden behind his popularity and sweet smile, but it’s not like Hinata had anyway to prove that. So, maybe, <em>just maybe</em>, Hinata could stay his boyfriend for a little while longer.</p><p>Just at that moment, Hinata’s phone chimed. <em>It was a message from Oikawa.</em></p><p><strong>Oikawa &lt;3 </strong>: You were talking to Kageyama for quite a while Today. <br/>       <br/>      <strong>Hinata </strong>: I’m going to study with him :D</p><p>      <strong>Oikawa &lt;3 </strong>: Why him? Am I not good enough for you? What’s so special about him Kageyama? Are you inlove with him?</p><p>     <strong>Hinata </strong>: What? He’s our friend! I’m not inlove with him!!</p><p>     <strong>Oikawa </strong><strong>&lt;3 </strong>: I don’t want you talking to him. Only study with me, got it?</p><p>     <strong>Hinata </strong>: That’s a little extreme, ‘Kawa. I’d rather not.</p><p>     <strong>Oikawa &lt;3 </strong>: Well,that decision isn’t up to you. You’re eating lunch with me Tomorrow for a date, okay? I love you so much Shoyou. xx</p><p>  <em>Read At 8:45PM. <br/><br/></em></p><p>Hinata groaned in frustration, throwing his phone onto his bed. Hinata tried to ignore the constant ringing of his phone, presumably from Oikawa. It was obvious to him that Oikawa was overbearing and not exactly in the right mindset for their relationship. Hinata sat on the floor, wrapping his hair around his finger as he contemplated what to do about the mess he’s created.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <strong>…………</strong>
</p><p><br/>Hinata hasn’t slept last night, and you could definitely tell just by merely looking at him. His eyes bags were dark and heavy, colour akin to that of the sky on a rainy day. Although his dreary and rainy portrayal of his face was nothing compared to the storm brewing inside his head. Hinata’s hair was sticking to face due to how sweaty he was, Hinata was curled up, biting at his nails. <em>He was nervous, so very nervous.</em>“Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit.” He mumbled over and over to himself, paranoid about what was to come. Hinata had earlier decide to break up with Oikawa and he was very fearful of how the events would play out.</p><p>  Hinata went to check the time on his phone, and was repulsed to see hundreds and hundreds of missed calls and unanswered messages. Every. Single. One. From. Oikawa.</p><p>       987 missed calls from Oikawa &lt;3. <em>This user left one message; ‘Sho, honey, answer me please!”. </em>That message was from 12 minutes ago. Hinata, begrudgingly, scrolled through the messages Oikawa had sent. <br/><br/></p><p><strong>Oikawa &lt;3 : </strong>Shoyou, why aren’t you answering?</p><p><strong>Oikawa &lt;3 : </strong>You know that I love you right?</p><p><strong>Oikawa &lt;3 : </strong>You’re as bright as the sun, my dear</p><p><strong>Oikawa &lt;3 : </strong>Reply to my messages</p><p><strong>Oikawa &lt;3 </strong><strong>:</strong> Shoyou Hinata.</p><p><strong>Oikawa &lt;3 : </strong>You’re fucking useless!</p><p><strong>Oikawa &lt;3 : </strong>You don’t deserve me</p><p><strong>Oikawa &lt;3 : </strong>ANSWER. MY. FUCKING. MESSAGES.</p><p>Hinata scrolled through hundreds of similar messages, Oikawa cursing at him repeatedly while simultaneously telling him that he loves him. While most of these made him nervous, one in particular made his blood run cold.</p><p><strong>Oikawa &lt;3 : </strong>I’m sorry Shoyou.</p><p><strong>Oikawa &lt;3 : </strong>Please don’t be mad at me. Please don’t break up with me Shoyou! I love you so much!! You’re the only good thing in my life Shoyou, don’t leave me</p><p><strong>Oikawa &lt;3 : </strong>I’m worried Shoyou</p><p><strong>Oikawa &lt;3 : </strong>That’s it, I’m coming over. I can’t bare to be apart from you.</p><p>That text was from six minutes ago. Hinata panicked, was he serious or just trying to scare Hinata? Knowing Oikawa, there was no real way to tell.</p><p>Until, he heard a knock at his door. The familiar whiney voice of Oikawa echoing throughout his room. Hinata forced his eyes shut, blinding backing up into the wall. <em>He didn’t want to see him, he didn’t want to hear him, he didn’t want to be near him. </em>Hinata, remains deathly silent despite Oikawa calling his name, hoping his silence would mislead Oikawa into believing he wasn’t home. <br/><br/></p><p>
  <strong>Knock.     Knock.     Knock.</strong>
</p><p>Hinata’s panic attack began to kick in as he heard his door handle rattle like the tail of snake. The door swung open with a sound similar to an ambulances siren, the creaking of the floorboards indicating that Oikawa was walking closer towards him. <br/><br/></p><p>“Found you.” Oikawa chirped playfully, ruffling Hinata’s hard. He gently squeezed Hinata’s cheeks before dramatically letting out an exasperated sigh. “Oh Shoyou, I’m so glad you’re okay! You had me quiet worried.” He cooed.</p><p>”Get off me.” Hinata spat. Oikawa, taken aback, looked puzzled at Hinata. Hinata let out a low growl before continuing, ”Oikawa.” Hinata’s voice came out almost like a whisper. Oikawa cocked an eyebrow and draped his arms around Hinata’s neck, peppering kisses on his cheek. The feeling of Oikawa’s cold lips against Hinata’s cheek made him want to gag, nausea building up in his stomach. “<em>I want to break up</em>.” <em>Biting his lip, Hinate carefully pushed Oikawa off him, shuffling slightly back.</em></p><p>Hinata’s body stiffened, despite the joyous smile that plastered Oikawa’s face, he could sense a presence of malice. Oikawa leaned in, caging Hinata against the wall. Hinata gulped, feeling sweat run down him. Oikawa’s eyelashes fluttered open delicately, now eye to eye with Hinata. Pressing a finger to Hinata’s lips, Oikawa whispered, ”You’re so pretty, Shoyou.”</p><p>     Hinata wriggled, “Oikawa, please stop touching me. I don’t want to be your boyfriend!” He yelled, nervousness evident in his tone. Hinata’s breath hitched as he awaited his response, unable to look Oikawa in the eyes. All Hinata could hear was his own heavy breathing and the quick beating of his heart. The room was silent enough to hear a pin drop, the tension eating away at Hinata’s mind. Hinata cowardly looked back, mouth agape.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Oikawa Snapped. Oikawa Snapped. Oikawa Snapped. Oikawa Snapped. Oikawa Snapped. Oikawa Snapped. Oikawa Snapped. Oikawa Snapped. Oikawa Snapped. Ọ̷̧͖̫̘̏̀͝ͅì̵̧̻̲̭͕̹̲̟̮͋͆̈́̓͌͠͝k̶͔͖̰͉̓̊̓̅ͅa̵͖̝̹̦̟̗̦͉̤͉͐w̶̛̺̦̫̽̌͜à̵̠͔̗̉̉̆̃̂̄͆̕͝ ̸̡̧̮͇͓͍͇̬̩̋͂̈́S̶̖̬̩͈̪̀̂̆͆̎͋͘͜n̸̖̳͍̦͇̭̕a̷͎̦̽̇̿͑͗̇̎͘͝p̴̭̪̞̜͓͓̓̐ͅͅp̴̨̤̙̆̇̆̈́̚̕͝͠ę̸̦̯͖͎̥̏̓̃̏͝͠ͅd̸̢͔̞͈̫̳̫̤̒͗̓̈.̴̹̜̯̲͙̼͋́͜ ̴̨͕͔̻̻̮̯͑̏̈̍̓̀̆͒Ơ̴̗̯̑̔̈́̉̓̅̋͝͝ḭ̷̛̐͆̉̈́͊̌͠k̶̡̢͙̫̙̜̰̙̮̲͂͗̎̀͂a̶̪̠̭̘͔͈͍͈̙͌̆̐͊̚͝w̴̦̺͇̬͇̟̚͠͝ͅȁ̷̟̺̼́͐͑̌̚̚͝ ̵͎͛͆̑̈́S̶̫͗͋̂̍̔ṉ̵͒͛́̅͂a̵̧̝͍̟̜̟̺̼͙̬̅͝p̴̜̯̠̹͓͈̻͎̟͆͆̇̋̓̓̏̚p̸̙̎̕ḛ̸̛͉̜͗͂̇̔̃̒̎̚͝ḓ̸̝̙̳̞̜͇̠̬̹̂̆̊̏̑.̶̨̲̩̙͔̺̓͌ͅ ̸̨̖͎̪͇̼͉̱́Ö̶͉͎̣̗̪͋̉̀̀͆î̷̛͍̦͇̄͂͋͋̐͝k̴͉̮͍̺͙̹͕̂͌̋́̔̑̌͝a̵̟̦̖̿̉̈̀́ẁ̷͈̳̫͒̎̓͝a̸̛̝͔̳͓̓̀̈́̑̀̕͠ ̶͔͊S̷̖̥̮̭͕̥̝̅̓͜n̴̨̠͔͈̖̆͊̒̽̐͘a̷̛̗͓̱͇͖͙̥̗̐̐͊̇̕̕p̴͈̥͉̯̳̽̓͂̌̈́̄̋̃̑̀͜p̶̢̨̝̩̹̠̻̭̟̌͑̃̓̒́͝ͅe̸̥̩͎̙̽͑͆̒̃͌̐͝d̸̥̩̳̑̑̿̔̃̑̈.̸̡̘͚̖͚̺̱͈͙̤͗̀͌͋̔͝ ̸̦̫̹̺̺̰͔͚̋̏̾͠O̸͍̤̗̯̤̳̦͑̾̐i̷̛̳̓͊̅̈́̇̕k̵̞͙͇̞̫̳̲̭̺͋a̵̛͓̦̳̝̙̣͎̣͊̆̒̉̽͒̎̓w̵̠̯̯̓͋̊̈͜͝ȃ̶̼̺̬̖̠̹͇̈́̀͛̓̕ ̶̛̰̐̐̀͑̍͐͌̓͜Ş̴̥̤͖̤̰̲̫̓ṉ̴̡̙̻̓͐̈́̉̋̕͝a̷͈͉̖̳̭̼̘̹̱̅̎̿̏͋̅̀̊̕̚p̴̨̮̈́͐͗̃̈͊̍̍͝p̵͍͎͍͙͗͆̌̈́e̷̢͖̐͊̽ḑ̸̪͍̂̀͋̇̈́̍̉̃̔͝.̶̒́̏̏̚ͅ ̶̨̧̈́̏̉̋̒̃͂̚Ơ̵͙͓̥͖̝̲͙͍̦̬͌̒͌̄̈i̴̢̥̒͌͑͆̈ḵ̴̣̭̝̗̯̞̦͝a̵̛̜̼̣̻͌̂͒̉͑ẁ̵̩͙̳á̵̢̨̗̻̹̻̣̒̍͆ ̷̡̳̭̹̲̼̟͒͐̿̄̽̅͐̚͜͝Š̶̨͖̖͉̼̞͊̎̈́͜ń̸̫̫̘́̾̓͗͊́à̵̢͉͇̱̪̐̐̈̉́p̴̡͍̫̪̪̞̓̃̇p̸̳͍̖̠̰͖̼͚͙͒̌̽̄͛͌̎e̸̱̘͑d̷̘͉̠̞̐.̵͖̳̗̓̄̒ ̸̛̤̟̯̩̮̹͋̊͋̍̔͐̎̕͘Ō̴̞̪̗i̸͙̿͑̉k̴̢̬̭͙̠̱̆͆̏̀͆̇a̸̙̤͈̻͊̌w̵̡̜͉̜̫̓̎̇̒͂̓ắ̶̙̟̠̫̗̦̱̗͆̅͌̔̐̔̏͝ ̸̛̗̹̯̒̽̇̌̽̔͒ͅS̵͉͔͗n̴̝̋͒̐̅̏͠a̶͚̭̦͎̍͊͜ͅp̴̺̰͖̠̹͉̎̒̈́͋̂̄̃͊́p̷̱̰̞̓ȩ̵̣̯̯̗̠̤̗̘̻̇͛͗́̽̄̀̓̿d̷̠͖̾̆̈́.̷̢̳̬̬̘͖͖̀̿͒͐́̊́͑ ̶̨̹̞̞͊Ơ̷̮̪͓̥̄̈́͌̊̊͗́͒̅ḯ̸̧̦̯͕͊k̴̨̩̼̈̏̔̒͗̈̓̀͝͝ą̵̠̻͙͔͉̜̫͓͊͊̆͐̓̀̚ẁ̸̢̛̛͆̿͂͋a̷̖͑̓̈̒͐ ̶̧̧͖̤̻͓̗͔̙͔̇͐̓̅̋̔͊͝͝͝S̴̼̞̝͍̟̟͔͕͉̀ņ̴͔͇̯̘̂̓̈́a̵̘̬̮̻͕͚̹͎̿̓̃̊̃͂p̴̘͈͙͔͓̺̏̈́̿͊͑͘p̶̨̨̞̜̰̬̥͕͕͆̈́̀̂̇͝͠ȅ̷͚̈́̄͜d̵̛͇͋̔͂̽.̶͉̬̎̇͛̀ ̵͎͕̣͔͙̝̎́̈͌̚͜͝Ơ̶̬͈͖̟͖͕͑̎̒͋͜͠í̶̛̜̫̣̼̫̩́̈́̂́̒ḳ̴̀̈́̄͑͐̍́͘͠ả̴͇͈̬̼̲͝ͅŵ̴̨̱̯͇̲̿̄̿̇̆a̷̛͖͙͕̯̻̭̳͋͛̈́͌͊ ̷̧̬̯͖̱̞̪̺͖̪̈́̿̇̂Ś̴͎̭̘̞̎͂͆͊̇͊͋n̸̗̣̗̰͍̦͔͙̽͒̽̃͂͠a̷̳̹̝̰̮̖̩͆̎̍́̈̈́̈̑̿͠p̸̧̙͚͈̘̖͚̦͓͍̐̓̍̀͝p̶̧̺̯͔̺̩̄e̸̥̱̳̪̞̜̭͑̊̎́̂̿̿̚͜͜ḓ̶̨̛̟̺̝̉͋͌̊̈́́̌͠ͅ.̵̧̖̜̩͉̋̀̋̌̈́̀͋͘ ̵̖͛̿͋͜Ȍ̵͙͇̘̭̃̑̈́͑̀͝͝ĩ̴̛̛͔̭̐̀͌k̸͔̜͐a̴̢̬̻͖͖͒̇̌̈̉̚w̵͍͙̼̪͉̟̉̈͂͂́̋͂͛̉̈́ͅa̶̯͈̗̬͐̀̾ ̷͖͍̈́̀͋̍̋̈́͜͝Ş̷͎̦̟̰͎̥̪̞̻̐͛̈́̀̚n̶̢̬̥͎̗̪̲͋̏̓̈͘͜͜ǎ̶̛͚͈̂̈̄͠p̷̞̟̫̱͋͌̀́p̶̠̆̆̐̑͝e̸̺̮͓̿̍̀̑̚͜͠d̵͙̙͕̿.̵̮̦̳̦̬̟͔̠̩̙̒̎̋͗̈͝͠ ̴̧̛̼̯̮̹̗̬̳̞̟̏̇̅͐͆̈̍͛<br/><br/></strong>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“O-Oikawa?” Hinata asked shakily, holding back tears. Hinata’s body froze instantly, his thoughts pushed away as he felt rough hands lingering around his body. Oikawa harshly grabbed his wrists, slamming Hinata’s back against the wall.</p><p>Oikawa looked him dead in the eyes, eyebrows twitching in anger. “Y’know, Sho, no one else will ever love you the way I do. I <em>truly </em>care for you. You’re my <em>everything!” </em>Spite itching it’s way into every word he said. Hinata shook his head violently, <em>no, no, no. </em>Oikawa dipped his head down low, sinking his teeth into Hinata’s collarbone. ”I want the world to know that you belong to me. You’re mine.” He warned.</p><p>“No!” he groaned out in pain, tears rolling down his puffed, flushed cheeks. Hinata’s legs buckled as the nervousness in his stomach was on the verge of making him vomit. The sound of Oikawa’s hand slapping against his skin rang through Hinata’s ears like church bell. “Oikawa, please! Please, stop!” Hinata pleaded, cringing at the feeling of bruising on his back and face. “I don’t love you!” The words slipped out of grasp like water, instantly regretting his decision.</p><p>“Take it back.” Oikawa said, voice strained. Hinata shivered as Oikawa stared him down, the words he said had left a bitter taste in Hinata’s mouth. Hinata couldn’t muster up a reply, his mind in too much of a frantic state, the only thing he was able to do was slightly shake his head. Oikawa sneered, forcing his lips onto Hinata’s, ensuring that his tongue covered every surface of his mouth. “One day, everybody will leave you, but when you come crawling back to me like the pathetic shit you are, I’ll still accept you. I’m a nice person Shoyou. I will always love you.” He ran his fingers through his hair and stroked his face before getting up. He faced Hinata, giving him one last signature smile before leaving.</p><p>Hinata sunk down low. He felt dirty.</p><p>
  <strong>………<br/></strong>
</p><p>Hinata’s head had barely risen above the horizon on water in his bath, his whole body swaddled in heat. Hinata’s eyes drooped, mind plagued with constant thoughts of Oikawa and his unwavering dedication to Hinata. Hinata lifted his arm, listening to the water droplets travel down his arm and splash back into the water with a satisfying ‘plop’. However, Hinata was instantly sickened as he saw his arm.</p><p>Bruised had formed from Oikawa’s force. The sight of Oikawa’s marks on his skin disgusted him in every way imaginable. Hinata scrubbed violently at every mark Oikawa, desperate to erase all his mistakes. Ignoring the searing pain that this caused, he continued, unaware of the red tint that began to fill the bath.</p><p>
  <strong>……… </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Hinata had a towel wrapped around his ways, droplets of water still reminiscent on his skin. Hinata stared into the steam clouded mirror, sighing as he looked at the horrid state he was in. Hinata’s arms were puffed and red, skin irritated and bleeding from Hinata’s continuous rough scrubbing. Hinata sniffled, tears brewing on the corner of his eyes.</p><p>How could he let Oikawa get under his skin like this?</p><p>Hinata’s uneasiness remained, he felt as if Oikawa never truly left. Oikawa’s scent lingered and he saw Oikawa every time he closed his eyes. His voice rang in his head, causing a tidal wave of emotions to come crashing down on Hinata. Oikawa’s number was blocked, but Hinata knew this wasn’t the end of their encounters. They went to the same school after all.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>………<br/></strong>
</p><p>Oikawa hummed to himself, tenderly circling his finger around a picture he had snapped of Hinata. Oikawa had gained a rather large collection of photos of Hinata. He took these pictures with every chance he had, they shared majority of their school classes together. He put them into folders, such as;</p><p><em>Hinata Eating: </em>238</p><p>
  <em>Hinata Smiling: 521</em>
</p><p>Hinata Blushing: 112</p><p>Hinata Naked:947</p><p>Favourites: 7,930</p><p>He loved looking at him so much, it made his stomach swarm with butterflies; feeling as giddy as a child on Christmas Day. Thinking of Hinata made Oikawa feel like his heart was going to burst, he was just so cute.</p><p>Oikawa would leave Hinata sweet little notes and small boxes of chocolate in his locker to remind him of his love. He wanted him to feel loved, and live everyday like a permanent Valentine’s Day. Oikawa was always one step behind Hinata, stalking him like prey. Oikawa especially liked it when Hinata left his house, and could go into Hinata’s room and bask upon Hinata’s smell. He had a tendency to steal small things from him, things such as pens, buttons or even gum wrappers. He loved anything that had Hinata’s touch on it, oh how desperate he was to feel him again.</p><p>Oikawa found it odd that he couldn’t message Hinata through text and how Hinata dismisses him every time they spoke verbally. Hinata loved him, didn’t he? Weren’t they a happy couple?</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for reading until the end.<br/>Comment below or leave a kudos if I should continue this story! &lt;3</p><p>In this fic, Oikawa and Hinata went to the same middle school and were the same age.<br/>Also, Oikawa keeps autocorrecting to Okinawa, I’m very sorry if I accidentally kept it as Okinawa.<br/>^^ :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Sour Teeth</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Hinata couldn’t shake the feeling that Oikawa was still around him, as if he was coiling around his body and squeezing him like a python.<br/>But he was fine, right?<br/>His new team would keep him safe, right?</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This chapter takes place when Hinata joined Karasuno, everyone went to the exact same High School they went to in the manga.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hinata couldn’t handle it, he felt like Oikawa was around him- his presence looming around every corner. He was always in his head, constantly seeing him everywhere he looked, still being able to hear his voice. It had been months since Hinata had felt Oikawa’s touch, yet he could still feel every imperfection Oikawa imprinted on his body. <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>The team had always found certain things about Hinata rather strange; the way he flinched as people touched him, the nervous look in his eyes every time someone spoke to him and how he always peeked behind his shoulder. Despite how much Hinata smiled and acted happy, his entire team could see an undertone of sheer paranoia. Even in the loving arms of Karasuno, he could still couldn’t shake the uneasiness that grew more and more with each day. What kept Hinata up at night was that he broke all ties with Oikawa, <em>he didn’t know where he was or what school he went to, </em>and this scared him.<br/>
<br/>
Hinata had moved, and prayed that Oikawa wouldn’t come to Karasuno. It was a fair distance away from his old junior high, but a large part of him felt as if Oikawa was still bumbling around him like a pesky bee. He didn’t know when he was going to see Oikawa next or how he would respond, he knew he was never going to be ready to face him. </p><p>Kageyama never mentioned Oikawa when Hinata was around, even though he knew very little about their relationship (Oikawa and Hinata were just friends, as far as Kageyama knew) and never understood why they stopped being friends, he knew that bringing it up brought up bad memories with Hinata. The way his pure sunshine smile would instantly falter into a bitter pained smile that was cringing in grief was enough for Kageyama to realise not to mention his past. Honestly, Kageyama didn’t mind cutting ties with Oikawa and Iwaizumi after junior high, something about the way Oikawa glared at him when he was near Hinata made him uncomfortable.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>………<br/>
</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Oikawa sighed as he listened to his teams manager go <em>on and on </em>about how important practice matches were, his mind wandering. Oikawa resting his head into his palm, fingers lightly touching his lips as he sinked into his own touch. He barely batted an eyelash the entire meeting, that was until the manager mentioned a certain team. A certain team that made Oikawa’s heart flair. A certain team that made his face beam an unbelievable shade of red. A certain team that could make him moan just from hearing the name.</p><p>A certain team called Karasuno.</p><p>”So,” Coach Nobuteru continued, voice booming in the hollow gymnasium, “We have an upcoming practice match with Karasuno.” The team broke out into whispers, <em>weren’t they the ‘fallen crows’? </em>Among the speculation, the coach spoke up, “The team has improved, with the addition of four first years.”. Oikawa couldn’t help but feel giddy, a wide spread smile on his face. “These are the first years, two of which caused a bit of a ruckus in their previous matches.” Coach showed a picture of Yamaguchi, accompanied by a brief summary and the same treatment for Tsukki. <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>The team had a confused look on their face when shown a picture of Kageyama and Hinata, they knew that Kageyama was the ‘<em>King Of The Court’ </em>as some would put it, but no one had ever seen the little shrimp beside him. Oikawa and Iwaizumi were the only ones among their peers that knew about Hinata’s speed and jumping abilities, as Hinata had never played an offical match in junior high. Oikawa’s heart raced as he saw Hinata, hands becoming fidgety as his body wriggled in anticipation of being within close proximity to him. He felt like he could barely breathe as thoughts of Hinata enticed his mind and drew him in like the oceans current. He could just faintly hear the sound of the coach talking over his wildly beating heart.</p><p>Iwaizumi’s ears pricked up at the mentioning of his old two friends, his mouth agape at the sight of Kageyama and Hinata in the same high school. He went to lean over to Oikawa and discuss the matter, but his face twisted into both confusion and disgust as he saw the state Oikawa was in; blush spread across his face, a look of bliss in his glossy eyes, chest heaving as he left out soft pants. Iwaizumi had sensed a shift in Oikawa ever since their first meeting with Hinata, he never trusted how touchy Oikawa got with him. Iwaizumi stayed silent, never asking about Oikawa’s strong adoration for the small redhead.  <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Oikawa yelped as Iwaizumi flicked him upside the head, his face scrunched up in annoyance. “Mean Iwa-Chan!” He cried, defensively wrapping his arms around his own body. Iwaizumi left out a huff, trying to not let Oikawa get on his nerves. “Aren’t you excited to see Tobio and Sho-Chan? Sho-chan sounds like he’s going really good at Volleyball!” He chirped, eyes gleaming with joy. Iwaizumi rolled his eyes, but responded nonetheless, he did care about Kageyama and Hinata after all.</p><p>”Yeah. I wonder why he never joined our old team.” Iwaizumi said, his tone as flat as usual. Oikawa hummed in response, hair bouncing as he nodded. He gently tapped his finger against the floor, mind flashing him imagines of the period Hinata. Oikawa’s joy was evident to everyone who looked at him, a goofy grin on his face. <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <strong>……… <br/>
</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>”Gwah!” Hinata yelled, frantically jumping around in excitement. His eyes dazzled with happiness, shining the team his bright signature smile. The team left out a soft ‘awe’, aside from Tsukki who just scoffed (but would mentally admit he grew rather fond of the small boy). He ran up to Daichi, softly clasping his hands, “We really get to do a practice match against Aobajonsai? I’ve heard good things about them.”. Hinata let out a gasp as soon as the words rolled off his tongue, why did saying that teams name make him feeling like he was going to hurl. <br/>
<br/>
Daichi raised an eyebrow, going to give Hinata a soft pat on the back to comfort him. Hinata flinched as Daichi’s hand approached him, quick to duck as to avoid contact. Hinata, upon noticing what he did, began to apologise profusely. Daichi noticed the way Hinata’s body quivered in what looked to be fear, <em>something seemed off. </em>“Are you alright, Hinata?” He said, making sure not to make any sign of going to touch Hinata.</p><p>Hinata looked up into Daichi’s eyes, feeling at fault for the concerned look in Daichi’s eyes. Hinata felt tears form in the corner of his eyes, embarrassed by this whole ordeal. He let out a small huff, “I’m fine Daichi! I’m very sorry!” His voicing squeaking. Daichi could only nod, their team bewildered by the sudden outburst of Hinata. This was quickly dismissed as Daichi started talking;</p><p>”So, as you may or may not know, Aobajohsai is an absolute powerhouse of a school.” Hinata regained his initial curiosity, intrigued by the description of this team. “Their captain is an extremely strong player. He is strong in just about every aspect of volleyball, whether it’s strength, accuracy, speed or technique.” He continued, a slight hint of jealousy rising in his voice. “This is Oikawa Tooru.” He finished off, holding up a small picture of he attractive Oikawa Tooru. <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Hinata’s face went pale, tears and vomit threatening to spill out of him. Hinata began shaking, chest heaving as he lost control of his breathing pattern. Kageyama shot him a concerned look upon hearing Oikawa’s name, sadness hitting him as he saw the look on Hinata’s face. Hinata staggered towards the doors of the gymnasium, “I feel sick.” He muttered, voice strained as he tried to hold his down his tears. His quickly rushed off to the bathroom, leaving a stunned Karasuno team behind. <br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Hinata checked the bathroom, ensuring no one else was in there. As soon as knew the coast was clear, he ran into a stall and locked the door. Hinata could feel the sickness rise within him, his head spinning as his heart beat loudly in his chest. He was hyperventilating, tears spilling out of his eyes as he began to cry. Hinata winced as he began to gag, vomit burning the back of throat like acid. Hinata felt disgusting and weak, body cowering down to the floor. Hinata trembled as he heard the footsteps tatter along the bathroom stall.</p><p>They called Hinata’s voice repeatedly, asking them to open the door, but Hinata couldn’t hear them; a buzzing noise rising in his ears. Hinata was snapped out of his thoughts as he felt a pair of hands touch his body, instant panic coursing through him. He began to kick wildly, now sobbing. “Please, don’t!” He cried, shaking the hands off of him. Hinata couldn’t open his eyes, he didn’t want to look. <em>It was Oikawa, It was Oikawa, It was Oikawa, It was Oikawa, It was Oikawa. </em>Hinata’s head was pounding, mind screaming at him to get from Oikawa.</p><p> </p><p>But it wasn’t Oikawa.</p><p> </p><p>Instead, it was his concerned teammate. “Hinata.” This time, Hinata heard it; a voice that definitely wasn’t Oikawa’s. Hinata hesitatingly opened his eyes, vision blurred by his tears. He reluctantly unlocked the door.  He looked at his teammate in shock, before breaking back down into a crying mess. “A-Ah! Please don’t cry, look at me Hinata.” Suga said, voice soothing. They gently took Hinata’s hands in theirs, carefully helping the weak boy stand. “Hinata, are you okay?” He asked, with a warm motherly tone.</p><p>”S-Suga?” Hinata cried, nose sniffling. Suga hummed in response, slowly bringing the shaking boy into his arms. Hinata was frightened by the embrace, but ever so delicately gave in. His body sunk in Suga’s as his legs buckled beneath him, hands clutching onto Suga’s shirt. “I’m so sorry! Please don’t tell anyone about this!” He begged, wiping the tears away from his damp cheek.</p><p>Suga looked stunned for a second, not exactly sure how to answer. He wanted to say no, he wanted to help Hinata, but the pleading look in Hinata’s eyes was something he couldn’t resist. Suga let out a long exaggerated groan, “Fine. However! If you ever feel this way again, you need to talk to me, okay?” He said, voice stern. Hinata weakly nodded, giving him a small smile. “You should go to the nurses office, they might send you home.” He added, gesturing for Hinata to leave the bathroom.</p><p>Hinata walked out, but turned around to face Suga. <br/>
“Thank you, Suga.” He said, voice cracked and strained from the crying. <br/>
<br/>
<em>’There is definitely something wrong with that Oikawa person.’</em> Suga thought, a sour look on his face.<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <strong>………<br/>
</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Hinata laid in the bed at the nurses office, body snuggled up into a plethora of blankets. A feeling of sickness and anxiety still lingered but he felt more comfortable in the nurses office than the cold and clammy bathroom floor. Hinata was startled in his sleepy state, a notification  chiming from his phone. <br/>
<br/>
</p><p><em>You have 2,706 pending messages from [unsaved number]<br/>
<br/>
</em>Hinata didn’t know how to feel about the sudden large string of messages he received. He cautiously opened the messages, noticing some of the messages dated back to when he was still in Junior High. Why had these messages only just come through? He read the most recent text, which was from 1 minute ago.  </p><p><strong>Unsaved Number; </strong>Can’t wait to see you! &lt;33</p><p>Why did this make him feel so uneasy, it felt as if he were stepping into dangerous territory.</p><p><strong>Hinata; </strong>Who is this? </p><p><strong>Unsaved Number; </strong>I got a new number!! It’s me, Tooru &lt;3</p><p><strong>Unsaved Number; </strong>I miss you so much  </p><p><strong>Unsaved Number; </strong>Why don’t you ever visit me?</p><p><strong>Unsaved Number; </strong>I’m glad you finally responded though! xx</p><p>Hinata’s nails dug into his skin, hard enough to draw blood. He felt his world come crashing down. Hinata got up, legs wavering under his weight. He paced back and forth in the room, throat feeling dry. Hinata once again felt that familiar twinge in his stomach.</p><p><em>Oh God, it’s happening again. </em>He clutched a hand to his stomach, disgusted at the acidic feeling that returned to his throat.</p><p> </p><p><br/>
<strong>………… </strong><br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p>Oikawa was overcome with joy when he saw that Hinata had finally responded to his messages, he wanted to print out a screenshot of it and frame it on his wall. Oikawa had a certain ritual, of sorts, that he would go through; each week he would travel to Hinata’s house (which was relatively easy to find for Oikawa, all he had to do was follow Hinata home from school) and take pictures of the him. Oikawa just loved looking at him, but as time grew, merely looking wasn’t enough. He yearned for contact, he <em>needed </em>it.</p><p>Curiosity got the better of him, and he would make his way into Hinata’s house, hands roaming all over the petite boys body. The sight of Hinata softly snoring, blissfully unaware of Oikawa’s presence was so enticing to him. He would touch Hinata’s hair, face, stomach - Anything that would be enough for Oikawa. Occasionally, Oikawa could lean against Hinata’s bed, sitting on the floor as he held his hand. Moments like this were almost too much for Oikawa to handle.</p><p>Since he found out about their practice match with Karasuno, he tried his best to not see Hinata. He stopped himself from going to his house, he wanted to savour every moment he had with Hinata at the match; he wanted to touch him while he was awake, while he could <em>see and hear </em>him.<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <strong>…………<br/>
</strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>The day arrived, Hinata having a new found hatred of the daily cycle of the earth. He wished he could spend an eternity in bed, just to avoid seeing Oikawa’s face. Even though he desperately wanted to steer clear of him, he knew he had to go. He wanted to get better at volleyball and he wanted to be there for the team. <em>Maybe he’s changed? </em>He thought, but quickly reminded himself of the thousands of messages he received. Those were an obvious sign that he really hadn’t changed at all.</p><p>Daichi got the team together, awaiting the arrival of Aobajohsai. The team looked prepared and well put together, well, aside from their nervous number ten. Hinata’s eyes were red and puffy, accompanied by eye bags that looked as heavy as cement. Hinata’s hair stuck wildly out in different directions, his face was pale and his hands were fidgety. He truly didn’t want to be here, but had to be. He had to. He wanted to get better at volleyball, and knew the team would despise him for missing out on such a rich opportunity for practice.</p><p>Time felt like it slowed down for Hinata as heard the gymnasium doors snap open, hearing the loud thud of Aobajohsai entering. Hinata was dreading this moment, <em>he couldn’t do this. He couldn’t, he couldn’t. </em></p><p> </p><p>”Chibi-Chan~” Oikawa’s voice called, Hinata doing his best to swallow down the fear in his throat. He tried to remain as calm as possible, he didn’t want to embarrass the team. He would rather suffer with Oikawa than cause one more inconvenience for Karasuno. He couldn’t tell them, he didn’t want them to know.</p><p>
  <em>They’d hate me if they knew.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I dated the enemy.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I dated a boy.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>They would never accept a gay boy!</em>
</p><p>His thoughts screamed in his head, before a strong force on his body forced him into reality. Hinata cringed as Oikawa pulled him into a tight hug. His body coiling around him like a python ready to consume it’s prey.</p><p>”I missed you so very much, Sho.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for reading up until this point! Please point out any errors I made, I really appreciate each and every one of my readers. (I know it’s early, but) Happy Valentine’s Day.</p><p>Also, let me specify that I do not approve of any homophobia, and remind you that this story isn’t meant to discriminate against being gay in anyway; more so explore Hinata’s inner struggles on dealing with his sexuality.</p><p>Love, Kemiyu &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Intoxicating</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I’m so sorry for the long wait, I should’ve taken readers feelings into consideration. Things have just been difficult, to say the least. I’ve been depressed for years, but as of lately, shit seems worse, it’s been hard to find motivation for things (especially writing). Although, that doesn’t seem like a fair excuse on my end, and I probably shouldn’t bore y’all with my feelings. I’ll try to update more, please just bare with me for a little bit. Again, I’m incredibly sorry.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hinata stood still, neither denying or reciprocating the hug. Oikawa’s grip remained tight, stretching out the length of their hug for as long as possible. Hinata’s breath was shaky and warmed Oikawa’s chest, a feeling that made Oikawa’s heart want to burst. The stares of confusion from both teams, aside from the few who understood why they’d hug, were simply ignored. That was until, a certain ‘senpai’ pulled Hinata away from the older boy. <br/>
    Oikawa pouted, an eyebrow cocked as he whined longingly. He had his arms held out, signalling for the boy to return shrimpy to him, but he did no such thing. Tanaka did not approve of any of the opposing team putting their grip on their precious sunshine. Although, the question remained of why Hinata, someone who seemingly went out of his way to avoid contact, would let some self centred snob like Oikawa put their hands on him. Hinata moved Tanaka’s hand away from the fabric of his shirt, an apologetic smile on his face. “What business do you have with our first year? Tanaka barked, his face quite reminiscent of a dog.</p><p>Iwaizumi, who was not far behind Oikawa, moved further forward. He raised his hand quickly, before giving a harsh slap to the back of Oikawa’s head. Oikawa fake cried, yelling out quite common words for him, “Mean Iwa-chan, mean!”. Certain people, who were used to their shenanigans, merely sighed, but the others were throughout amused at Oikawa’s expense. Oikawa raised his hand in a matter of factly way, “Sho-chan and I have been best friends since Junior High!”. His words came out in a teasing and prideful way, as if that opinion gave him some form of authority. <br/>
    Which it did, to some degree. There was a tinge of jealously in Iwaizumi and Kageyama’s heart, who both were peeved by that thought. In truth, neither of them had anything against Oikawa, but it’s not like they wanted him to be best friends with someone as vulnerable as Hinata. Oikawa, much to the disbelief of many, wasn’t that much of a prick - or at least Iwaizumi and Kageyama thought so. Karasuno begrudgingly gave Hinata up, much to the dismay of a particular mother, Suga. He didn’t trust Oikawa, after earlier events.</p><p>Tanaka stared at Hinata, searching for a sign of truth. Hinata bit at his lip, the feeling of both Oikawa and Tanaka’s eyes boring into his soul. He let out a nervous chuckle before clicking his fingers and forming an awkward thumps up, “Y-Yeah, we’re friends.” . The team bitterly accepted that truth, even if they didn’t want to. <br/>
   There was a sparkle in Oikawa’s eyes, a bright smile gleaming on his face. He hung his forearm on Hinata’s shoulder, etching his face closer to Hinata as he stood before the watchful eyes of both team. He interlaced their pinkies and brought it to the front of their face, “Best friends.” He reassured. Certain people resisted the urge to knock Oikawa down like a bowling pin and eliminate him from the face of existence. Hinata payed this no mind, caught up in his own thoughts as he tried to swallow the uncomfortable feeling stirring in his gut. Keeping up the charade was tedious, but it would hopefully prove worth it.<br/>
<br/>
But, they couldn’t stand around doing jack shit for an entire day, they had a game to play after all. It was a bit slow, gathering the supplies and  attention of people to set up the gym, but it was  worth it. And with that, the game commenced; Most of Seijou were trying to focus on just playing the game, but their attention was quickly drawn to two particular first years. To no ones surprise, those first years were the freak duo: Kageyama and Hinata.  <br/>
It was the first time Seijou witnessed their quick in a match they were playing, and they were, to say the least, rather impressed. Hinata played to the best of his ability, at least for the moment able to ignore the fact that Oikawa was Oikawa. He thought of him as a rival captain, nothing more and nothing less. <em>Just ignore him, it’ll be fine. </em>However, it proved difficult to completely ignore the truth when he could see Oikawa doting on him from aside the court, his unwavering support sending chills down his spine.</p><p>Oikawa felt proud of Hinata and more so proud of himself, he was witnessing Hinata’s power. Although, he dearly wished that his power was spent on someone better, like Oikawa. Rather than silly Kageyama or any other setter, he wanted Hinata all to himself. Was this selfish? Yes. Was he aware of this? You bet. He knew, for as long as they’ve known each other, that he was smitten over him. He knew that he’d want to have every little piece of Hinata, and prayed he’d return that feeling. Hinata was incendiary and caused a mass war to go on in Oikawa’s head, one he could barely keep up with. His brain wanted Hinata to be happy but his heart longed for something entirely different; for him and Hinata to be together. At first, he knew to some degree that Hinata wasn’t entirely onboard with this whole relationship ordeal, but as more time passed the line between what his heart and what his brain wanted was unclear. He conjured up about a million thoughts of Hinata a day, and sincerely came to the conclusion that Hinata was happy, but only with Oikawa by his side. They’re destined for greatness in every shape or form and Oikawa needed to prove it, one way or another. <br/>
    Seeing Hinata after a while was a great feeling for him, well- not only him, Iwaizumi thought it would be nice to catch up with him too. But, that happy-go-lucky feeling soon faded and was replaced with a feeling that made his insides feel like they were rotting. This was stemmed from none other than Tobio. Jealously was all he could taste and it consumed him like a starving tiger, it was relentless and untamed. It was a vile feeling,  but those thoughts had to be swallowed. It was difficult to ignore the burning jealously within him, as each minor contact Hinata made with someone sent a whole new wave of irritation over him. But, he was a captain and a god-damn excellent volleyball player, he had to try.</p><p> </p><p>One gym, two teams. The air felt tense and the loud frequent smack of the volleyball hitting the ground was the only thing keeping them awake. Their bones aches and their vision was faltering, but it was volleyball, nothing they hadn’t previously experienced. Exhaustion began to get the better of them, but it the match was almost over. One more point and Karasuno will win. <em>Just one more. </em>The thought of winning against Seijou was nothing below savoury, even if it wasn’t an official match. <br/>
Hinata’s wish was to score the final point, and he did exactly that. The ball was teetering towards Kageyama’s fingertips, and Hinata took that as his signal to move. He sprung upwards, the weight of his body escaping him as he jumped. He got air on his feet as he jumped, body arched almost to shape a triangle. Kageyama played his part as a setter, and tossed it over to Hinata. It was at lightning speed, as perusal. As soon as the ball was close to Hinata, he hit it. He relished the feeling of the ball against his skin and lived for the loud smack that happened afterwards when it slammed against the floor. He usually enjoyed this, however, not this time. His eyes were open, exposed to the horizon above the net. He could see everyone, from the light that trickled in through the windows, to the sweat that rolled down each players face. He made eye contact with Oikawa and immediately felt exposed, it felt as if it was just them two on this entire planet. The rest of the world disappeared and he was trapped in Oikawa’s eyes, fixated on every muscle in that boys body. He almost froze, but that feeling escaped him at the last second - where he was able to hit the ball.<br/>
The ball whipped past Oikawa’s head, getting dangerously close to clipping his ear. It landed in the court, and with that, Karasuno had won.</p><p>Cheers erupted from the energetic Karasuno, who were riled up beyond belief. They were ecstatic, to have won against such a highly ranked team. It was a mere practice match, but the fact that they won was still commendable. Those of which who still had energy to spare, like Tanaka and Suga, were in search for their little disciple, who was usually as bouncy as a spring after winning a match. Hinata wasn’t bouncing, instead, he was relatively still. He was staring off into the distance, a blank look on his face. He had the same facials expressions of Kageyama and Tsukki, which was nothing like himself. Tanaka made his way over to the shrimp, a little confused as of why he looked like his soul had left his body. He looked like a husk of what used to be a person, nothing more and nothing less. Tanaka drooped down, face inching towards Hinata. He waved a hand in front of his face, but that was to no avail. Suddenly, a very affectionate voice rang through the entire gym. <br/>
    “Shoyou?” Oikawa asked, skipping on over to the younger boy. Hinata was snapped out of his state, yelping as he noticed how close Tanaka was. He staggered back with an awkward chuckle, an action that Oikawa took much notice of. Oikawa got close and patted his palm against Hinata’s head, as if he was giving an eager puppy a reward. “That last spike was very nice, Sho-chan.” He said, a tone of sincerity in his voice. It made Hinata’s skin crawl. <strike><em>Stop touching me.</em></strike></p><p>Hinata carefully removed the hand off his head, a feeling of warmth on his fingers as he touched Oikawa’s skin. He peered up at him, not entirely sure how to respond. On one hand, this was Oikawa he was talking to. Even if he spoke with the upmost sincerity, he couldn’t shake the memories that had been corrupting his mind for years. On the other hand, maybe he wasn’t that bad? Sure, he sent a shit ton of messages, but maybe he was just like that. Although, particular events that he made occur did raise quite the red flag. But, that was years ago. They were in front of everyone, who had keen eyes. They were in front of teammates and friends, perhaps people he could even call family. Hinata had to keep up with his character, the truth wasn't exactly something that would be deemed likeable, right? He couldn’t act weird around Oikawa, there were standards that were set for him. They were ‘best friends’ and should act accordingly. <em>Just be normal. <br/>
</em>Hinata nodded attentively, giving Oikawa’s hand a pat before dropping it. Iwaizumi and Kageyama didn’t bat an eyelash, now that they remember, they’d notice that Oikawa and Hinata was always very touchy towards each other. It was weird, especially to Iwaizumi, but Oikawa was so persistent in his actions that Iwaizumi paritially gave up. The others, however, were still wary of this. Karasuno was more so skeptical of Oikawa, Seijou didn’t really care too much about Oikawa’s endeavours. He has devoted fans, it wasn’t too odd to act so affectionately. ”Thank you, Oikawa.” Hinata said, trying his best to drop the shakiness in his voice. </p><p>Oikawa smiled, “Tooru. Call me Tooru.” He sung each word out in a soft melody. This got the attention of quite a few people, but was quickly dismissed - right, they’ve been friends for years. Hinata wasn’t used to calling him Tooru, he barely wanted to say Oikawa. Would calling him Tooru progress their relationship? Hinata wasn’t sure if he wanted anything to do with Oikawa, but their fates were seemingly inventible. Hinata wasn’t quick to answer, and the conversation felt like it hit a dead end. “I call you Shoyou, so you’re more than welcome to call me Tooru!” He chirped, having a whole ‘pretty anime boy’ shine to him.</p><p>”O-okay, Tooru.” The words came out like venom, thick and heavy. It killed him on the inside. It felt a sour taste in his mouth, but seemingly had quite the opposite effect on Oikawa. It made him happy, to say the least. Hearing his beloved say his first name was a dream come true, especially in such a public place. It didn’t feel right for Hinata, as if it were a taboo word. It didn’t exactly roll of the tongue nicely and hearing it made him feel tense. Hinata didn’t want to be near him any more, the match was over after all. He mindlessly let his body take control, paying no mind to his actions. He gave a quick bow before skidding off to god knows where. <br/>
    No one said anything, that was quite odd. Karasuno just won against an absolute powerhouse (albeit, only in a practice match) and yet the usually unwavering Hinata just walked off like nothing happened. The room fell silent, with judgemental stares sent Oikawa’s way. Oikawa was like a prowling cat stalking it’s canary prey and his eyes follow Hinata with each step he took. Hinata was barely aware of his surroundings, let alone his own body. He managed to find his way to the bathroom, a familiar and safe place for him. Honestly, he goes there so often he could probably find his way even if he was unconscious.  His fingertips brushed against the door handle to the toilet stall, finally bringing him back into an aware state. He hadn’t realised he got there, but it was no shock to him. The door opened with an excruciatingly horrendous noise, one all too familiar and nonetheless painful. The bathroom was dimly lit, but surprisingly relatively clean. He was about to close the door, then a hand suddenly blocked it.</p><p>”Ow!” The voice whined, and that voice belonging to none other than Oikawa. Oikawa waved his hand back and forth, trying to get it to stop stinging. He blew on his fingers in an over dramatic manor, sending Hinata his biggest pout possible. Fake tears welled up in the corner of his eyes, “The fingers of a volleyball player are important! Be more careful about them.” He opened the door, allowing greater proximity between one another. He was getting rather close, but Hinata’s thought process was long gone. He felt as if his brain short circuited, and he was like a deer in the headlights. He couldn’t muffle out any response virbally, but his mind was swarmed with questions. Oikawa’s fingers skimmed the tips of Hinata’s, before they were interlaced and brought up to their chest. Hinata couldn’t feel the beating of Oikawa’s heart against his chest, it was normal in contrast to Hinata’s rapid heartbeat. Oikawa, in one swift movement, pulled their hands up, forcing Hinata into the nook of his neck. Their skin was warm and soothing, this may have been an endearing moment if it weren’t for the fear coursing through Hinata’s body. Oikawa’s lips got close to his ear, as he whispered these words slowly; “I’ve missed you, Shoyou.” <br/>
Hinata yelped at the unexpected hotness in his ear and the murmuring of words in his ear made his body tremble like a thin branch in a storm. Hinata wasn’t mentally prepared for this, but to be fair, he was never mentally prepared for anything. He was a charade, a complete copout of his real colours. He wasn’t some shining and energetic ray of sunshine, and that wasn’t the easiest thing to admit. His mind was clouded with so many negative emotions, he felt like he was drowning - but volleyball was a way out of it. It provided a short term relief that made things feel just that little bit easier.<br/>
But here was Oikawa. <br/>
Invading volleyball. <br/>
Invading his life. <br/>
Oikawa was poison, a deadly toxin that had since infected Hinata and was bound to one day destroy him, whether that was mentally or emotionally was a mystery. But, he was an incurable problem, or at least, one that could result in much worse things. In order for Oikawa to go away, he’d have to admit to someone his truth. He couldn’t bare it, just imagining admitting to people, let alone his team, that he was gay, it haunted him. Especially that he’d dated a guy, and someone as lowly as Oikawa. Even if Oikawa was rotten at the core of his being, a voice in the back of Hinata’s head constantly said he didn’t even deserve the love of someone as twisted as him. He felt that Oikawa was so much more than he could ever be, he didn’t deserve to be in such high regards. His head was a mess, that’s a simple way of putting it. </p><p>“Okay.” Was all Hinata could meekly let out, it wasn’t much of a reply but it’ll do. Oikawa pulled away from his ear, examining Hinata’s facial features with quite the interest. It was deathly silent, not even the bustling life of students outside the bathroom was there to be heard. Hinata was nervous, that was a given, but so many more negative feelings were brewing inside of him with each passing second. He wanted to hurl, cry, scream even. But, he couldn’t. He could barely find the power to move even an inch of his body. Oikawa still stared him down watchfully, making Hinata question his motive.</p><p>”Did you know,” Oikawa began, making Hinata’s vision wander up to meet his eyes, “That you’re very pretty.” His voice came out playful, with a slight growl behind it. It was an odd combination, to be fair. It raised suspicions on Hinata’s end, especially as his face was seemingly getting closer. Oh, yeah, it was getting closer. Before Hinata could realise it, Oikawa’s lips were on his. They were soft, well, everything about him was, he was a ‘perfect pretty boy’ after all. Their lips were pressed together and Oikawa licked and nipped at each surface of Hinata’s mouth. Hinata squirmed into the kiss, that vile feeling since returning to him. Here it is, that feeling. All too familiar for his liking. It left him feeling queasy, like he’d just committed the greatest sin known to man. Oikawa was rough with his kiss, as he bit harder into Hinata’s lip. Oikawa found the kiss to be intoxicating, replenishing the hunger that’s been conjured up inside him. The taste of Hinata was so addictive, he wanted it every second of every day. Hinata was unbelievably cute, in the eyes of Oikawa, so weak and defenceless, yet all the less amazing. Hinata tried to wiggle away, but wasn’t able to escape his tight grip on his wrists. However, neither of the two boys were ready for what was about to happen;</p><p>Enter the scene, Kageyama Tobio. He’s one of the closest people to Hinata, well not physically at the moment, but friendship wise, sure. They had a bit of a rocky start, but after playing matches together and forming their deadly duo, they gained quite the friendship. When Hinata silently left the gym after such an impressive win, his dear friend was a tad concerned. But, it was Hinata after all, he was probably just using the bathroom. It was when Oikawa was hot on his tail and follow suite afterwards that his concerns were raised, it wasn’t that he completely despised Oikawa, he just wasn’t 100% trustful of him. He wasn’t aware of their ‘fling’ of sorts, but he knew something was up with them in junior high. Way too touchy, way too affectionate, although both of those things were mainly on Oikawa’s end. Oikawa kept sending him glares during their match, and stared at Hinata far too often. It wouldn’t hurt to check in on them. <br/>
What he <em>didn’t </em>expect to see was his best friend pinned up against a bathroom stall with his rivals lips on his - and yet there it fucking was. Kageyama wasn’t well acquainted with the endeavours of romance, and couldn’t seem to pick up on the fact that Hinata didn’t look like he was having the best time. However, he wasn’t completely clueless as to what affection holds. He turned the nuts and bolts in his head, and steadily came to one conclusion; they must be dating! It’s seen on movies, that those who are in love will kiss and go way further beyond that. That explains the touchiness too, they’re covering up for their relationship. <br/>
“You two are dating?” Kageyama asked, taking them by surprise.</p><p>Neither of them heard him enter, and was honest to god shell shocked when they heard him speak. Hinata went ghastly white, this was his worst nightmare. Oikawa pulled away from the appalled Hinata quickly, a string of saliva coming off with him. He let go of Hinata’s wrists immediately, and whisked his head on over to face Kageyama. Kageyama looked none the wiser, and stood there with a puzzled expression on his face. Hinata couldn’t look up at him, he felt disgust consume him and rattle his heart. This was it, the end of their friendship. He could deny it, but words weren’t forming - just an incoherent string of slobbered gibberish. He wanted to cry. He didn’t want to know Kageyama’s reaction, but it was bound to be disgust.</p><p>
  <em>He must be so grossed out.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Two guys, kissing.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Two guys, dating.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I’m disgusting.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>In every way imaginable. <br/>
</em>
</p><p>Oikawa wasn’t nearly as nervous as Hinata, he was surprised, sure, but not a single muscle in his body shook in fear. He draped his hands around Hinata’s neck and dropped down, resting his chin on the smaller boys shoulder. “Awh, you found out, Tobio-chan.~” He sighed, no actual hint of despair in his voice. He sounded far too cocky for the situation, he was sly and a shit stirrer. Hinata let out an audible gasp, ‘No’ his mind screamed. Kageyama barely batted an eyelash. “However,” Oikawa began, voice loud and now asserting dominance, “Chiba-chan here isn’t too keen on going public, so be a darl and keep this a secret, please?” He said teasingly, patting Hinata on the head. Kageyama scoffed and nodded, he went turn around, but before he did, he left one final statement;</p><p>”Try and find a less public place to jam your tongue down my best friends throat then, shittykawa.” If it weren’t for the anger in Oikawa, and fear in Hinata, they may have well laughed. And with that, Kageyama left as soon as his came. Hinata could barely register what just happened, that was some complete fuckery right there. He wasn’t dating Oikawa and he definitely didn’t want others to think that. Oikawa was unphased, as he purred into Hinata’s back lovingly. Hinata then felt the hot tears build up, and smash down the dam that he’d formed. He cried, he cried so much. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you for reading up until this point, I’ll hopefully be able to write more soon. Y’know, I suck at resolutions/happy endings and I don’t know if I want a happy ending to this story, lmao. Might just come through with more angst.<br/></p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for reading. Please let me know if I should continue this story!<br/>- Kemiyu</p><p>Tumblr; Kenmiyuu</p></blockquote></div></div>
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